My brain is not really in gear today, we have been up since just before 6am and my youngest, Alice (2) has been crying for most of the morning so far as she is not well. She is currently attempting to sleep just behind me while my eldest Elizabeth (4) is quite happy watching mickey mouse in her room.
A little bit about us, There is myself (27) and my two lovely girls..we live a very chaotic life at the moment, something which i am aiming to change and hopefully keeping a blog will help push me along. My eldest has some behavioural/emotional issues - im not sure of the cause, it may be medical or it may be due to experiences from her youngest years. It could simply be that she is living in a household with a mum who suffers depression.
I have suffered with depression for as long as I can remember, if i had to guess i would say probably from the age of around 12/13, maybe younger. Its not easy living in a house where depression lives, things often change, the children don't have the stability and consistency they really need and I spend my evenings feeling incredibly guilty that I can't just make it disappear. It's not something you can discuss with friends as for a lot of people its still seen as a taboo subject and many would likely say something along the lines of 'just get over it' or 'get a grip and stop feeling sorry for yourself'. That is not how it works, it is a chemical disorder, there is no reason for it, it is something you just have to manage as best you can. Of course life experiences can certainly add to it, for some it is because of specific things but long term depression is often based on a chemical imbalance. I started taking medication for it in the last year and it has helped a lot..
anyway we soldier on, i try my best and am always trying new things and looking for ways to make life at home better and more fun and stable. This is something i really wish to get sorted this year and will be writing about.
Aside from the negatives, I am an avid reader, I cannot get enough of reading, i like to cook/learn about food, i like crafting. One of my hopes for the future is to start my own business creating handmade home decor items and alongside it selling children's clothes.
My eldest daughter starts school in september EEK, big milestone..as much as i will enjoy the free time I will miss her. She likes everything pink and princessy which is quite funny as she used to be a real tomboy and hate pink, but as soon as she mixed with others in nursery she discovered her girly side! She is very smart, loves computers, dancing, dressing up, enjoys baking and being outdoors and active. She is a real livewire and always full of energy and comes out with very funny things.
My youngest is quite the opposite, she is very calm and nurturing, caring and cuddly. She loves music, drawing/anything crafty, dolls, jigsaws and spending lots of time with her mummy, she is very sociable and makes friends very easily (one less parent worry to have). She will start nursery in september and I will miss her also!!
It seems like such a short time since i first became a mum, that i struggle to believe 5 years has passed.
I look forward to all the many years ahead :)
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